Rohk wanted an orange but was having a difficult time opening it.  He asked me if he could get a knife to cut it and I said yes.   It did not occur to me what kind of a knife he was picking or what he would be cutting on.  Apparently he tried the scissors first?

This dear-heart has been practising head stands for weeks now.   

She uses a wall to practice and then tries without the wall.  

She is doing awesome!!

He just really really wants to be like his big sister!!

I do not love chickpeas.   Hummus I can live without.

That is until I tried this recipe!!  I may be a hummus convert.   

Go out and buy "Jerusalem: A Cook Book" for the hummus recipe alone.

So.  Good.

And this scene is my house tonight.  I think it looks so inviting.

I love my dining room and kitchen.  My favourite rooms in my home.

Lent begins on Wednesday.  I have never given up anything for lent.  I have understood why people do it but I have never felt the inclination to participate myself.  

I read a post from Grace Table about lent.  I liked her approach to reading scripture during the season of lent.  I might not give up anything but I may read through some Psalms in the way she describes.

She ends the post with this and it made me tear up.  And any time something makes me cry I MUST pass it along! True story.

"God stands at the door and knocks, but He won’t open the door for us. He won’t force His way in. He is patient and kind, abounding in steadfast love, and so He waits and knocks and waits some more. 

And while He waits, He whispers words of love over us. 

I have loved you with an everlasting love. I would take you in my arms and heal you. 

I would wrap you in kindness and clothe you in love. I would quiet you with My love."

My default parenting strategy is "let's create something".

If the kids are fighting - let's craft

If it's been a super fun day - let's paint

If we all are feeling mellow - let's draw

It's your birthday! - let's make your party decorations

If my kiddos are bored - let's glue anything we can find to paper

Sad - origami

Crazy hyper - baking

Hard day at school - sewing

You get the point.

We were all very bored on this particular evening so I actually bundled us all up, drove to the dollar store bought the supplies we needed.  Rohk embraces the abstract, Naveed painted dolphins and then painted over them.   I made a cloud out of googly eyes attached to a land of pom-poms.  

It was a nice evening and we weren't bored any more!

Hope your weekend has been fantastic.   Cheers to a happy Monday!

It's Foodie Club night tonight!!!   The last time we met was in September.   How wrong is that?!

I am so so excited to see the girls and eat some good food.

These pictures are from our last meal, the them was 

"Jerusalem: A Cook Book"

I loved that cook book so much I asked for it when my 

birthday came around.

Tracy, beloved Foodie member beat my mom to the 

punch and gave it to me.

Truth be told, being in Foodie Club. since my diabetes diagnosis. has changed things for me and the group.  Bless their generous hearts for being so accommodating.  There still are items I don't eat or will only take one bite of.  

But for the most part, I can partake in our meals.

    

(Tracy made the picked beats with xylotol or stevia (I forget now) 

so I could eat them!)

 

I think I loved this meal so much because I COULD eat everything and that is a rare and treasured gift to me.  To be able to eat with my friends, at the same time and eat what they are eating?!

  

If you have food restrictions, you know how much that means. 

Tonight is a fondue theme and I took my Jerusalem: A Cook Book and will make the falafal and kofta recipes fondue friendly.  

(My fingers are crossed!)   I will serve it with hummus, a tahini sauce and cucumber&tomato salad.   All recipes from my Jerusalem cook book!

Hello!   It's been awhile. 

  

I hope this little post finds you happily enjoying a 

cup of coffee or tea while you read. 

Yes, I am totally projecting what I do when I read blogs onto you.  

You're welcome.

I disappeared for a while.  My apologies to my faithful readers.  

I tried writing about my life over the last year and it just came off really bitter and snippy and a bit of a pity party.  

So I did'nt post anything.

A most insightful and kind lady really gave me some clarity this week.

She told me I had burned out.

So I Googled around a bit and the all knowing internet was very consistent with how burn-out is defined.

I liked this one:  Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed and unable to meet constant demands.

And my life all of a sudden makes sense to me.   

Bless you dear lady.

In my quiet times with God, as of late, I have been sorrowful because I feel like a diminished version of myself.  

And this makes me so sad. 

So I imagine myself climbing into Jesus's lap, 

and I just have a good cry there.

I am a constant thinker.   

I am a chronic ponderer, if that is a thing.

As I was leaving Superstore this morning I was 

thinking about what burn-out is.

A burned-out light bulb came to mind.

And then I had the most hopeful and beautiful image.  Of my precious Jesus gently blowing life back into the burned-out bulb of my life.

  I will cleave to that image today.

pic from here

So.   If I were to be perfectly honest with myself, I would love to renovate my house.   I would love to hire professionals to come in and fix my floors, windows and driveway.   It would be lovely to have that all done.

I would love it if my living room looked the the picture I just posted above.

But.

It's not going to happen because we don't have disposable income to afford that and any savings I can put together need to go towards a new furnace, dentist appointments, eye glasses and truck repairs.

My world does not allow for total house make-overs.

And I wish it did.

So, I choose to be happy with what I have because if I let the dis-contentment I have bubble to the surface, I would be miserable.  I acknowledge I have dis-contentment but I refuse to let it run my life.

The truths that I tell myself are this:   my house is larger than what most people on the planet have to live in,  I am lucky to have such a big yard (albeit a weird shape), it is miraculous that we get own this house considering we went bankrupt, I love the quirks of this house like the panelled ceiling in the dining room and the steps down to the living room, and it does not matter if I paint my kitchen cupboards on a whim because they are not multiple thousands of dollars hanging on my wall.

Usually that is all it takes to snap back to what I actually know is good.   It stops the lie "You must have bigger, fancier, expensive." to be content.

At the end of the day, it is a lie from the pits of hell, that says what I have is not enough.   Because my Jesus promised to take care of my needs and that my joy would be found in him.

My husband loves me.

My kids are healthy.

I have amazing friends.

My bills are paid.

There is food in my cupboards.

There is gas in my truck's tank.

What more could I want.

Life is good.

One of my favourite things to do with Naveed, when she was 4, was to give her my camera and see what kind of pictures she would take.   I always found it so interesting to see what she would come up with.   Sadly, as of late, creativity has not been high on my list of things that are worth guarding and encouraging.  In my life or my kids.   A few weeks ago I decided it was time to change that.   So Rohk got the iPad and Nav got my phone.   Rohk's pictures ended up being videos of trucks driving and he lost interest after a little while so I did not have a lot of options with his first attempt.    

These pictures are my favourite's from Naveed..  

When Resiliency is Gone

I used to be resilient.

Resilience is defined by some random internet site as this:

: the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens

: the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.

Six, maybe seven months ago, if you were a friend of mine, you might have used that word to describe me.

I have overcome a lot in this little life of mine.

And now, I am admitting defeat.

It is time to say no to almost every single commitment.

It is time to sit and be quiet and contemplate and stop moving all the time.

Sitting still is going to heal my heart.

Because, in the silence, I am ever so hopeful that I will meet the person I have become.

That Christ will remind me who I am in his eyes.

Because, as it stands, I don't think I have ever been so ill at ease with myself.

I have changed this year and I do not know her.

I am angry these days.  Did you see my last post?!   Whoa.

I am sad these days.

My soul is tired.

Life has been disappointing.

My faith is a tattered garment.

Conversely,  there things about myself that I fully know and accept as true and good.

I love Dr. Who.

I love short hair.

I love bright tattoos.

I love my kids.

I love my husband.

I want to cook more.

I want to cook more with my kids.

I want to make more meals that Jon loves.

I want to treat my friends to a coffee, just because I can.

I am friendly.

I love to laugh.

I have missed laughter.

My home is an extension of me.

I am a crier.

I love this space where I can put my thoughts.