Therapy is a beautiful thing.

Especially FREE therapy.

Extra especially, free therapy when life is calm!

It is such a different experience.

This last week I was struck with 2 things.

1) I do not do well with being invisible and it comes out in different ways - retaliation, shutting down, out bursts that seem un-provoked, bitterness, 

running away/disappearing physically and/or emotionally

2) I don't feel that I deserve to have dreams

Whoa.

That's some heavy stuff to be hauling around.

And I had no idea that I was.

When it was suggested that maybe I was having a difficult time responding to "X" situation was because I felt invisible, 

my inclination was to say no.

"I am never invisible!  

I am to loud and opinionated to ever be invisible!"

False.

The more I think about my life and the most hurt's I have  personally felt, they have more often than not been because I have been ignored, diminished, dismissed and rejected.

I have been made to feel invisible.

Intentional or not, there you have it.

This is very revelation-al to me! 

I plan on sitting in it for a while.

And dreams!!

This one will take me a while to sort out.

The timing is providential to me as longings and desires have come up with my spiritual director.

It is such an internal wrestling and sorting out.

A worthy one to pursue.

(Jon took this amaze-balls picture of me)

There was a time in my life where I did A LOT of stuff.

It was not smart.

Hullo Burnout!

But now I find that I am worried that if I start to be involved in life again I will do to much again.

I don't trust myself to know my limits.

I have been praying about it for a few months now.

Today I read this beautiful article.

The Magical Key to Doing Everything

I can get behind this way of thinking.

Anticipate a copy-cat post in the near future.

I pray for you all a week filled with hope, revelations and joy.