Watching:   Rohk play a video game on the Nintendo game cube that his uncle gave to him and his sister.  He plays with his eyebrows moving constantly.

Listening:   The drying is tumbling a load, Naveed is counting out her money and the sounds coming from that stupid game include a lot of yelling.

Hoping:   After looking online at the side affects of an ablation I am hoping that mine will heal well.  It's days 9 and I am still bloated, lacking energy and feeling tender.  It does not worry me as much as it just has settled into my brain to be aware that some women do not respond well to this treatment.

Longing:  My bike is calling my name from the shed and I just want to go for a bike ride.  Come on spring!

Pondering:    That in spite of circumstances that present themselves, there is always beauty to be seen in this life.

Planning:  There is a list above my stove of activities I want to do with my family this spring and summer.  Even if we only do 2 or 3 of them before the fall, I will be very happy.

Eating:  Roasted veggies, 2 eggs, 50gr of sprouted blue corn tortilla chips and 1/2 cup of plain greek yogurt with 2 tbs of natural peanut butter, no sugar sweetner and 1/4 of frozen raspberries.

Later:   In a bit I will take the kids to the library and if all goes well, we will attend a birthday party tonight for a little bit.

In progress:   (An Instagram post from Humans of New York got me thinking about this) The idea that kids seeing their mom's going back to work some how shows children that mom's have value or power because of the job bother's me.  I have a sense that there is a great misconception in this thinking and it has more to do with a woman's view on marriage and/or self.  Tell me a mother goes back to work to pay bills or because she wants nicer stuff or because she knows she is a kick-ass..... (fill in the blank), these seem like honest answers to me. But solely making money as gaining "power", I think that sends a wrong message to your kids.  As a human being, I am always more than what I do to make money.  Yes, money is needed and work must be done.  But if what I do to make money defines me, that is such a narrow approach.  I would rather my kids see my "value" and "power" coming from how I use the money I make, how I treat other's or the permission I give for how others treat me. The conversations I have with my husband or how we settle an argument.  How I talk about myself and how I treat myself or what I say about my kids and how I treat them.  These things speak more to value and power than getting job.   By all means, get a job.  But if the reason is to show your kids that you have value and power,  I think you are lying to yourself and your kids. 

Also, these are thoughts in process.  I feel like there are some gaps in my reasoning and maybe, in time, I will fill them. This is not a thesis or an essay or a debate.  Just thoughts in process.

Have a happy Saturday!