Grand sweeping statements of 

"we all do...." 

or 

"everybody wrestles with..." 

or any other "statement of truth"

really get under my skin.

  

Nobody in all the earth should ever say those words.

(Unless it's about eating, breathing or sleeping.)

Let me tell you why I have such a strong reaction to those statements.

(This post is from YEARS worth of things being spoken at me.  It's not about you.)

At the core, these statements are never true.

Ever.

Because the person stating the above fact assumes that 

"everyone" is them.  And no two people are the same.

Some people face the same issues and handle them in a specific way but never ever does EVERYBODY react to a situation the same.  My experience has been that the person applying this "truth" statement to the world is actually talking about themselves but lacks the ability to own their actions/thoughts so they make it less personal by applying it to the universe.

Just own your own shit.

How about that.

Another reason those statements get under my skin is because when I have had those words thrown at me, the person saying them is assuming they know how I have reacted to any given situation.

They never ask me how I handled... (body image issues, in-laws, peer approval, marriage, parenting, etc.)

An assumption was made.

Here are some examples.

"We all know that everybody is keeping up with the Jones's."

"Every woman is critical of other women's bodies."

"Women don't know how to have good friends because we are intrinsically critical and mean."

"We don't know how to have good relationships because we all are so worried about what people with think of us."

"Everyone is doing marriage wrong."

"Boys are good at math & science and girls are good at language arts."

"Men only care about sex."

"Women are bad leaders."

I'll stop now.

Each of those examples are real words spoken to me.

Or rather, spoken at me without any regard to what is actually true in my life.

How about person pontificating, ask a few questions first or, 

I know this is revolutionary, 

just speak for yourself.

Maybe this post speaks more to my own issues.

And I'm sure it does.

Don't tell me who I am and what my problems are.

I'm still figuring that out.

And I will be for the rest of my life.

Who I am becoming matters to me more than anything.

And no one but Jesus get's to speak that over me.

Please, 

ask my what my wrestles are and ask me about what 

I think about any given topic. 

Let's share with each other who we are, flaws and all.

But please, don't put your issues on me.

It's very presumptuous.

Own your own shit, ok?