I love that I can walk to school with my kids.

The sun shining, birds chirping, mini-vans racing by.

We move slowly.

It's a beautiful thing.

It takes a lot of effort on my part to protect a peaceful & calm morning.  Racing and fretting comes very naturally to me.  So I keep us on a schedule.  A gentle one, but one none the less.

TV until 8am.

Breakfast at the table.

Get Dressed, comb your hair.

Out the door around 8:30.

In that time I have a few cups of coffee, make Nav's lunch, shower, get dressed, tell the kids to stop fighting.

It works.

Next year Rohk is in grade 1 and I am at a loss.

Well.  That's not true.

I am holding onto my worries and fears very tightly and I believe that I am not fully surrendering them to Christ.

Because I don't want my life as I love it to change.

I like being home with my children.

I like being available.

I love the freedom I have.

I love that availability I have for relationships.

I really love so much about my life.

But money.

Wouldn't it be lovely to have more money?!

For a bigger house.  Because let's be honest folks, in a few more years my children won't be able to stand upright in their rooms.  Technically their bedrooms are storage because of the ceiling height.

Money.

For dental work, vacations.

My job, that I don't get paid for, is an important one.

Real meals, a listening ear, a hug, making coffee in the morning, bike rides, sitting at swimming lessons, getting the truck in for repairs, volunteering at church and school, being available when my grandpa stops in for help with his iPhone, support for my husband when work has been hard.

In the end, these are the coins I am holding so tightly.

Surrender is the only way.

In your mercy, hear the prayers and longings of my heart Lord Jesus.

Amen.