My Pondering's on Friendship

(in no specific order)

Do you find friendship perplexing at times and then other times it comes so naturally it's like breathing?
I sure do.

I am going to let my friends down and they are going to let me down.  But this does not need to mean the end of a beautiful thing.

Or maybe it does.
Circumstance dictates this I suppose.
The good ones operate with grace at it's heart.
That's what I think.


I don't believe in fighting with friends.
I don't see the point.
I fight with Jon, my parents, my sister and 
occasionally Jon's parents!
I'll fight you if you push me, but 99 times out of 100,
I won't start a fight with a friend.
If you do something that I react to in anger, 
I evaluate what it was that angered me, 
is it something I can move past from, 
if it's so outrageous that I can't get past it, 
I'm probably not friends with you anymore.
Friends are friends.
Friends are not spouses and they are not family.
They fill a different role in my life.
And I don't think this is a complete thought.
It feels like it has gaps in logic to me.
I will continue to sort this one out.


When I am extroverted, I am a very different friend from when I am introverted.  So if you met me in a extroverted phase of life, 
I might be very confusing to you these days.
Sorry about that, it's truly nothing personal.


I like my introverted self better than my extroverted self.
I am more at peace with who I am.
I'm not running from myself.
And I hope this makes me a better friend.
I wore extroverted-ness as a type of armour.
It kept me safe in battle but now, the battle is over.
Time to take it off and see the real me.
Flitting around groups used to be fun but now I find groups really hard.  I don't know where I fit.  It takes great effort.
One on one is my sweet spot.
Pop-in's are my favourite.


Not to my credit, 
I have to easily put friends on pedestals.
What they have said about me has mattered more than what 
Jesus says about me or what I know about me.
To many times I have given friends authority in my life that I should have never given.


It struck me this week that you can give your heart to your friends in Godly ways and un-Godly ways.
Sorrow has always followed when un-Godly ties are made.
What I mean by that is when what a person says matter's more than what Jesus says.

(I found this printable while making a gift for one of my 
dearest friends.)

You can get it here


It occurred to me that for some friendships, 
I will never be a safe place.  At first this saddened me but the more I think about it, the more I am ok with this thought.
There are many friends I have in my life that I truly love with all my friend-heart, but they might not be safe for me in regards to certain struggles or sorrows.
It does not reflect poorly on them or me.
We can't be everything for everybody!
I feel very liberated!

 This season of formulating my own beliefs vs ones I have taken on but have not owned, has been hard work.
The topic of friendship has come up often in my emails, conversations, prayers and thoughts.
They have been some of my most cherished emails 
and conversations I have ever had.  
For my dearest ones, I know where I stand and 
this means so much to me.

I found this here once upon a time.... I think

 

My tv watching as of late has been a show called 

Raiders of the Lost Art

It's great.

Every episode is basically a mini lesson given on an artist who has had art stolen because of it's value.

Vermeer is my favourite so far.

Here are some of his paintings!

(all pictures are from here )

What I think matters to me.

I don't want to have wrong thinking.

So these last weeks I have found myself swirling around 

two topics in my mind.

Like I'm actually sure if you looked into my brain you would see an actual whirl pool of these two thoughts going 

around and around and around and around and around.....

And my emotions are swirling to match.

So last night, I wrote them down on a piece of paper, 

said a prayer of submission and trust that all of my 

worries and my doubts rested in Christ, 

and then I burned it.

And as I was falling asleep 

(These topics have wrecked my sleep for weeks now because I can't fall asleep for thinking about them.  True story.)

when these topics threatened to steal my sleep,

I remembered that Jesus knows my heart.

I can trust him.

And I remembered the smoke rising from my burned worries and I imagined them wafting up to heaven, 

where Jesus is taking care of them now.

Here are all the articles I have read about the topics troubling my heart and mind.  Along with talking to some amazing people in my life, these articles have brought me to resolution in my mind and heart. 

Home Complicated Home

Dear White Christian Women

A Prayer of the Heart in 30 Words or Less

When You're Accustomed to Privilege, Equality Feels Like Oppression

The Problem With Saying "All Lives Matter"

"Can I come to your church? I'm gay."

The Gay Issue Revisited