For lent, day 9

Lent songs 7 & 8

Songs for lent 5 & 6

Song #4

"Lord, when my actions reveal a preoccupation with the visible, remind me that ultimate fulfillment flows from the unseen. Do not allow me to define real life as only those things I can see, for I cannot see you, yet your love is real and defines my life."

Shelly Miller

"And in this season of Lent, I think we ought to start there—by meditating on the absurdity of God’s care. I so often think myself big. To comprehend God’s love for me I must remind myself daily that I am small. Ludicrously so. My life is unbelievably brief. My concerns and troubles are not worth mentioning even compared to other creatures who are as tiny as I am. And yet the God who spoke a billion stars into being loves me. Listens to me. Was willing to die for me."

The Lent Project

Ash Wednesday

Lent has begun 

I am posting this song first because, for the last little while, it has been nourishment for my heart and water to my soul.  

Currently ALL the lent readings and videos I have subscribed to sit unopened in my gmail account.  First I will read when Jesus was tempted for 40 days.  And if I get to the other things, great.  

If  not, that's ok to.  

Are you observing lent this year?

I have never felt the desire or conviction to participate.

Frankly, most years my entire life feels like lent.

This year is different.

This year I am without a home church and I am longing for a weekly call to worship with people I know and am known by and the ease of following where my trusted leaders are taking me Sunday morning.

I don't have that right now.

All the churches we have attended over the last 9 months have left me missing what I used to have.  I forgot what normal churches are like and why we have attended 2 church plants over the past 7 years.

To be clear, 

there is nothing wrong with normal churches and I will not disparage them.

If you have ever met me, 

my husband, 

my kiddos...  

we don't really fit into normal.  

We are un-apologetically a little out there.

I know, blah blah blah blah, 

"What is normal?" 

"Is'nt everyone a little weird?"

Listen, 

I say this with utmost respect, 

if your mind goes to those questions than 

a) I think you are a 2 on the Enneagram and you are trying to help me

or

b) you are very normal and often find this blog confusing 

or

c) you are a weekend philosopher and possibly an Enneagram 5

I suppose I could put some parameters on what I mean by "normal church" but it's easier for me to describe what my "not normal church" looked like and what I loved about it.  

Because, 

like I said earlier, 

I do not want to disparage the church.

She is precious and holy and I love her.

My last church was small, often liturgical, artsy, vulnerable, intimate, coffee & conversation in the kitchen, I belonged instantly, my family belonged instantly, there was excitement in the air for what God was doing, there was an expectancy that God would meet us, sermons didn't really exist - rather is was teaching followed by discussion which invited deeper relationship with Christ and each other, an understanding that each of us being made in the image of God did not mean that were all the same - differences were celebrated and honored, I could hear everyone sing ...  and of all this list "I could hear everyone sing" is what brings me to tears.  

I can't hear people sing at the church's we have attended.

I love hearing corporate worship in song.

There is nothing so beautiful 

as hearing the church sing in unison.

My friend, Elena, sent me a link to a song called "West of Nod".

This line has stuck with me

"Remember when we had it good

Walking where the angels trod

Now all we talk about’s moving on

East of Eden and west of Nod"

If you have a few minutes, take a few minutes and listen to the song. It's lovely.

Back to lent.

Falsely, in recent months, I have believed the lie that 

church is going to save me.  If I just go to church, 

if my family goes to church, God won't let us go.

Huh.

That's interesting to myself.

Lent.

Remembering God incarnate, 

sacrificing himself for my life.

Lent.

It seems like I need it as a tuning fork, 

to remember my need for Christ.  

Not my need for the church. 

(Don't panic, I still love the body of Christ and will go to church.  Quitting church is never an option for me.)

I've been planning and researching options available to guide me through lent and I have landed on a few different ones. Here is a little list of what I will be reading or watching.

Shelly Miller from Sabbath Society has an ebook called "A Sabbath Journey for Lent".  It's free if you subscribe to her blog.  I have been receiving her posts in my inbox for years and I love nearly everything she writes.  

Edie Wadsworth had a daily lent reflection that I subscribed to last year.  I saved every email faithfully in my "Lent" folder and then never read any of them.  This year I will read most of them.  I'm not sure if she will be offering this again but check out her writings on lent, her perspective is always beautiful and profound to me.  

  Lastly, I have signed up for The Lent Project done by Biola University Center for Christianity Culture and the Arts.  Click on March 5, watch the video and I'm certain you will want to sign up for the Lent Project.  (Thanks Elena for this suggestion!)

I know fasting from a specific food is super common but I do that everyday of my life.

My fast will be more in keeping with who I am and won't be food related.

Lastly, my aim is to post 40 songs for lent on this blog.

One song for every day of lent.

This may or may not happen but I'm going to try!

Much love to you all,

Rachelle

And just like that, 

weeks of hustling & planning are done.  

There is a bitter-sweetness to seeing projects come to a close.  

I have loved seeing friends so frequently after 

not seeing them for months and months.  

I have taken comfort and found purpose being a part 

of the benefit concert for Ashleigh & Jordan.  

I don’t know how to fix cancer.  

With all my being I wish I could.  

Being a part of an event to pour love and joy by the gallons 

on Ashleigh & Jordan?  

That I can do.  

When Tamara suggested a concert back in November I had no idea what that would look like but I was all in. We decided to wait until after Christmas to start planning it. Tamara had secured Neufeld Garage and Erin had been in contact with Luke. January 1st or 2nd I sent the planning committee a very long list of things that needed to be done. I was mildly panicking.  

Good gravy there was a lot to get done!! 

It was very helpful that we are all 
familiar with the enneagram and 

when my 1 was on full display, everyone took me in stride.  

Bless them.  

Over the next weeks my days were filled with event preparations.  

Taking pictures and posting to Instagram & Facebook, 

searching for baskets, 

cellophane for days, 

check-lists, 

etransfers, 

colour coding lists PAID * Pending * Cash, 

finding room in my house for everything for the raffle, 

beer & planning at Sawneys with 

4 superbly gracious & kind hearted women,  

meeting and hugging some of the most 

generous people I have had the pleasure to meet 

and so much texting.  

Goodness.  

I don’t think I’ve ever sent so many text messages 

in all my life as I did in January.  

And then is was the day of the concert.  

It went by in a blur and I’m writing this so I don’t forget.  

Because when you are in the thick of anything, 

it’s hard to take in what is actually happening.  

I don’t want to forget the moment Ashleigh & Jordan walked in with their kids, Ashleigh with the biggest smile ever!  

Hugging Ashleigh for ALL the seconds to get ALL the endorphin's!!  

Tamara was positively giddy around Sierra Noble.  

What was up with the people who won 2-3 baskets?!  

What are the odds of that??  

"Hallelujah" was beautiful and perfect.  

Kids playing and running around with way to much freedom for hours.  

So much chatter and good conversations.  

And I don’t think I have ever seen a room so full of people that I cherish without really knowing many of them.  

I wish the night could have lingered on and on.  

It was beautiful on so so many levels.

Ashleigh had me from the moment she carried up 

Nienna and led a church service wearing her baby in a wrap.  Nothing in my life has been the same since and I will 

be forever grateful.  

Meeting Ashleigh was the start of knowing what 

being a part of the body of Christ is. 
We no longer attend the same church but that's ok.  

Because the beautiful part of sharing life in vulnerable, honest and holy places for so many years is that you can’t get rid of those relationships.  

Ashleigh & Jordan are a part of my life and 

that can never be undone.  

They are my friends & a part of my community. 

That brings with it my faithfulness & commitment to them.

What I witnessed Saturday night was a room full of people 

just like me.  

People that have been loved by the Dueck’s and 

who want to reciprocate and show love back. 

People faithful & committed to their friends. 

People who’s lives are forever intertwined with 

Ashleigh & Jordan’s, 

doing what they can to hopefully 
lighten a heavy burden for beloved friends. 

A light shines in the darkness and the 

darkness cannot overcome it.

Love Music Coffee Cookies Raffles Joy...

Light.

I went for a haircut yesterday.

A very nice young man cut my hair.

I told him I was growing it out 

and then he proceeded to cut it all off.

That was unfortunate.

But at least it's an ok hair cut.

In his defence, it might have been my fault as I got him talking about his passion for a role playing game and asked about his comic-con opinions.  Sometimes I think it's my fault when I don't get what I ask for at the salon because I get so interested in my hair stylist that maybe they forget what I asked for??

Before I go to get my hair cut I tell myself

"Don't talk to much."

"Remember to be quiet."

Every time.

I seriously do this.

And I never listen to myself.

Ah well.

It's only hair.

Jon has been out of town for work a lot this month so that has meant I have the car during the week.

Something that has been very appreciated by me and my kids during this cold snap.  Walking to school in -37 sounds horrible.

Next week we are back to walking so I'm hoping this cold snap turns into a warm bend??  That's a thing, right?

We have been a one vehicle family for a little over a year now and I love how it has forced me to change the pace of my life.  Walking and biking everywhere changes how I make plans and what I do.  Everything about my life is more calm, prayerful & peaceful when I don't have the car.  The INSTANT I have the car during the day I am BUSY!  It's amazing all the stuff I squeeze into one day with 4 wheels at my disposal. 

So as much as walking to school in -37 will suck, 

I am glad to not have the car this week.

Do you ever look at where your produce comes from?

I do.

All the time.

What strikes me the most is that I live in a part of Canada covered in snow & ice, and sitting on my counter are kiwis, bananas,oranges and apples.  The only reason I have all this fresh produce is because of airplanes, boats, trains and trucks.  

Some farmer in Morocco packaged up some pretty little oranges in a wooden crate and shipped them across an ocean.  

I have kiwis from Italy!  Did you even know kiwis grow in Italy?  

I think this is amazing.

Followed closely behind this thinking are thoughts of global warming and what impact transporting Kiwi's from Italy takes.

Do I really need kiwis from Italy?

Oranges from Morocco?

No, but it sure is nice.

Now, if I was TRULY committed to saving the earth what I would need to do is plant an orchard, do a lot of canning and live like Canadian's a hundred years ago.  Canned cherries, deteriorating apples from the cellar and applesauce.  Or! I need an earth ship and just grown everything I'm eating on a wall.  No joke.  Earth ships seem awesome and if Jon and me had a bazillion dollars we would totally be moving south and build one.  Google earth ships and be amazed.

Another tid-bit, Jon and me would be preppers, again, if we had a bazillion dollars.  But not crazy preppers.  More like sane people with a bunker and an underground hydroponic garden running on a generator in case of an electro magnic pulse and all the electricity goes out. That sounds sane right????

At least 2 times a year I find OLD cookbooks at our local thrift store and I buy them.   Because they are FASCINATING!!

What usually happens is I buy the book, look at all the recipes and then google the author of the book to learn the history of the cookbook. Most of the old cookbooks have a great history behind them and it's so fun to learn about how a book came to be. But because I live in 800 square feet, keeping all the books I thrift is not an option, so I give them back to our MCC thrift store.  And because I have a sieve for a memory and the information is pretty much useless, I forget most of it.

That was a good story.

I think I will sign of now.

Happy Saturday everyone!

Rachelle   

This will be a post full of links to things that have interested me so far this January.

A friend of mine said it would be nice to have links to all the blogs I read but I don't follow many blogs these days.  I find that I get something in my mind and then I exhaust the internet finding information on whatever "thing" I have in my mind, and in special cases, our local library, and once my curiosity is satisfied I move on to the next thing!

Or I read very silly books, very serious Christian books,  watch very silly shows or very serious documentaries.

This is my life.

Starting with the silly things that interest me these days,

Meghan Markle!  

I Google that woman WAY MORE than is probably normal.

Please send me a commemorative plate of Harry & Meghan's wedding if you have one.  A t-shirt would be better though!

Oh my goodness.

I need a commemorative wedding t-shirt.

Is that even a thing?  

Now I have more things to Google once I am done this post!

I like Town & Country for my royalty news, thank you very much.

Other silliness, my love for Doctor Who will never waver.  Over Christmas I read "Touched By An Angel" (NOTHING like the tv-show.  There was an oversight when they titled this book...) It was SO GOOD!!   And since new episodes of the tv show won't be coming out until 2020, the next best thing will be reading 

ALL THE NOVELS!!  My copy of "I Am a Dalek" arrived this week and it will be fun, easy read. 

My friend Leanne knows how to pick books for me.  I have never been lent a book from her that I have not loved. One day before Christmas I heard a knock on my door and there she was!  Holding a book she thought I would like to borrow, a quick hug, a Merry Christmas, and she was off.  The book was "At Home" by Bill Bryson and I have slowly been making my way through it's pages ever since.  It's such an interesting and intriguing book that I highly recommend if you love history. (You seriously need to read Stir.  Another fantastic loaner from Leanne that showed up on my doorstep one day.)  

One of the best gifts I have ever been given was 

"Jerusalem", a cook book by Ottolenghi.  

For one of our Foodie Club meals, 

Erin designated "Jerusalem" cookbook as the theme and 

I have ever since been in love with making all food of middle eastern decent at home. 

(I'm pretty sure Israel and Palestine are middle eastern?  This totally shows my total ignorance of all things geography but I don't feel like going to Google and correcting myself.  

That would take time and I get lost on rabbit trails and then this post will never be done!)  

Tracy gifted me "Jerusalem" years ago and this year 

she gifted me "Simple" by Ottolenghi and 

my mom gave me "Jewish Soul Food" by Janna Gur.

I. Made. So. Much. Good. Food. 2. Weeks. Ago.

Please note that these cookbooks were given to me in October and I have only  just gotten around to using them.

Also, Jon's digestive track does not respond well to these meals.

I made no less then 4 meals from these cook books in one week.

He has requested I try a different type of cuisine.

Being home alone, getting to my house work and listening to podcasts is a happy place for my heart, spirit and mind.

But finding good podcasts can be tricky!

Elena & Patrick put me onto OnScript and I LOVE IT!!

I am not a scholar or an academic.

Maybe one day?!  The Lord only knows.

For sure I am not right now.

What I love about this podcast is listening to professors 

(all the ones I've listened to anyway) 

talk about the bible in ways that I have not heard since I was in bible college. There is something so refreshing about being taught the bible by someone that is not a pastor.  

Please don't read into that statement either.  

What is required of pastor's in our church's is a huge ask and they have all my respect.  

Sometimes though, 

I'd like to go a little deeper than say... 

"Have Patience" or "Mission Sunday".

Both good things and I'm totally on board!

Please don't mis-read this as angsty or bitter.

I just finished listening to the interview with Natalie Carnes about her book "Image and Presence" and now I have ANOTHER book added to my list of "Books I Want To Read".  Later this week I will listen to the podcast again because she uses very intersting words that I don't know and I'm pretty sure a lot of what she said went completely over my head.

Palms down.  Palms up.

Watch this and then carry on reading.

You won't be sorry, I promise.

At about the 2 minute point on the video, Richard Foster leads the group in a prayer.  And he explains praying with "Palms Down" and praying with "Palms Up".  This way of praying has stuck with me for nearly two weeks solid now.

If you didnt watch the video, here is an explanation of the prayer taken from here.

1. “Begin by placing your palms down as a symbolic indication of your desire to turn over any concerns you may have to God.  Inwardly you may pray, ‘Lord, I give to you my anger toward John.  I release my fear of my dentist appointment this morning.  I surrender my anxiety over not having enough money to pay the bills this month.   I release my frustration over trying to find a baby-sitter for tonight.’  Whatever it is that weighs on your mind or is a concern to you… release it.  You may even feel a certain sense of release in your hands.”  
2. “After several moments of surrender, turn you palms up as a symbol of your desire to receive from the Lord.  Perhaps you will pray silently, ‘Lord, I would like to receive your divine love for John, your peace about my dentist appointment, your patience, your joy’.”  
3. “Having centered down, spend the remaining moments in complete silence.  Do not ask for anything.  Allow the Lord to commune with you, to love you.”

Don't you just love that?!

I find the 3rd part the most difficult.

Being quiet and sitting in the loving presence of 

my Jesus is hard.  You should hear the never ending stream of thoughts I have about pretty much everything all the time.

  

But I know it is good and right 

to be still, 

to listen, 

to commune.

I sent the "Palms down. Palms up." prayer posture to a group that prays on Thursdays and I was sent the most precious and heart touching email from one of our prayers.  It was so touching.  Like a hug for my heart & spirit.

In the email she sent a prayer that she pray's often, 

which led me to reading about 

Phyllis Tickle and fixed-hour prayer 

which led me to learn that the prayer sent 

was from Saint Augustine.

(Side note - The people from OnScript often mention 

Saint Augustine.  I think I need to find out more about him.)

Here is the prayer my praying friend sent me.

My dear friend Sue.

She get's me to do and read the best things.

For years now we attempt to do something 

holy... 

spiritual... 

Christian...  

life transformative... 

every January.  

Sometimes the things we attempt stick, 

other years, not so much.  

But we are very well intentioned!!

Thursday morning I get a text message from Sue saying I should check out IF: Gathering for the online pass to a conference they were putting on in February.  Sue told me I should check out the speakers to see if it would be good.

Her actual words were "Check out IFGathering. We can buy a digital pass and watch from the comfort of our living room.  

You know so many speakers/leaders. Do you think it would be worth watching?"

So what did I do?

I just up and bought it without actually checking it out.

Because basically I just want to do all the Christian ladies conferences with Sue ALL THE TIME.

Her response 

"If it's crappy that's on you!!!!!!"

At this point I am killing myself laughing.

She's totally right.

What did I sign up for??!!

Good thing that after the fact, IF:Gathering seems pretty solid.

I was at peace when listed as "Our Beliefs" was the Nicene Creed and one of their previous speakers was Jo Saxton.  I was given Jo Saxton's  book "More Than Enchanting" and I liked it.

Phew!

Crisis averted.

Lastly!!

Fundraising concerts are an entire level of fun and organizing that I have not ever been a part of.

UNTIL NOW!!

Working with friend's towards a common goal is so very very rewarding in ways I had not anticipated.  My friends are amazing and I am honored to sit at the planning table with them.

ALSO!! Knowing everyone's enneagram number has been so helpful!

Have you ever been to an event at Neufeld Garage??

This place is super cool and the owners have been amazing to work with!!

And do you know Luke Jacob Theissen??!

Here, let me introduce you if you don't already.

He's putting on the concert!

It's gonna be sooo good.

 Here is the event page on Facebook if you are interested in coming.   Love for Ashleigh & Jordan concert with Luke Jacob Theissen

Well.  That's me in a blog post.

Until next time everyone!

Rachelle