My Rohk is 5!!

Not 55 as the cake below would suggest.

He really wanted both 5's on his cake and I could not say no to such a cute request.

He wanted a layered chocolate and vanilla cake with chocolate icing on the sides and vanilla icing on the top.

He is so easy to please.

Sometimes I wish he would ask for more extravagant things because he makes it so easy for me and I would happily do more!

I wanted to have LOTS of sparklers on his cake to 

make it super special!

Yeah.

I put 20 sparklers on his cake.

Really close together so they would all sparkle at the same time.

Good in theory.

It was a fire ball on his cake.

Ooops.

He is such a ham.

He pretty much refused to be still for any pictures.

Goof.

Look at my bubs.   He was maybe a week old here.  Possibly 2 weeks.

This one makes me smile.

My boy is 5.

He is passionate and full of life.

He is fire and ice.

I never wonder how he is feeling or what he is thinking.

He feels deeply.

Poop and butt jokes are his absolute favourite.

His laughter makes my heart bubble with joy.

His hugs are the best.

I love him.

Last night I ended up in the ER.

I was totally freaked out by a burning sensation in my leg.

The previous day, I had gone in for this procedure

Nova Sure Video

I was so scared about a blood clot.

Straight up, number one fear in life is dying while 

my kids are small.

I panicked.

Now, what I learned last night about our local ER, or else we totally lucked out, is this.

9pm on a Friday is pretty dead.

If you come in after an ablation with concerns of a blood clot, 

they see you really fast.

My burning sensation was probably a nerve that was cauterised during my procedure and acting up.  I am totally paraphrasing.  No doctor ever says my uterus was cauterised.  But it totally was.

  

We were out of there by 9:30pm.

So that was awesome.

Erin and Andrew came to our rescue and stayed with the kids while we were gone. They are simply amazing.  Thank you friends.  Naveed had them watching Doctor Who and an ocean documentary while 

we were gone.  That made me chuckle.

On a different note but totally related, I am forever thankful and filled with wonder at the beautiful friendships that are 

Erin, Tracy and Sue.

These women.  They knock my socks off.

Tracy TOTALLY surprised me on the day of my surgery!!

SHE SHOWED UP AT THE HOSPITAL TO SEE ME!!!   WHO DOES THAT??

Tracy.   That's who.  

And she totally hooked me up with a wonderful nurse that did not need 20 attempts to put in my IV.  Never mind, previously that week she brought us a HUGE box of easy to prepare meals for my family and me.  I am so touched by her care and love.  She has my heart.

Check out these awesome pictures she took of me.

The first 24 hours after the ablation I was on bed rest and Sue lovingly took my kids for a few hours.

AND THEY WERE A HANDFUL!!  Refusing to eat the lunch she prepared, being anti-social, and causing problems all around.

Oh my children.

Sue dropped them off and I felt the need to give 

her a bottle of wine.  

Only, I had no wine.  

And she still offered to take one or both of them next week!?

( I am going to turn her down as I am feeling much better already.  

But still!  It's the thought that counts.)

Sue also has my heart.

And dearest Erin.

She ran to our rescue last night to sit 

with Naveed.  (Rohk was sleeping)

That she was so readily and willingly came here during a moment of crisis makes me tear up.

Her generosity of care and love touches my heart.

She ALSO has my heart!!



And to ALL THE AMAZING and WONDERFUL and CHERISHED friends that have been holding me in prayer over the last few days, from the very bottom of my heart, thank you.
Thank you.   Thank you.
I often teared up by how often I was messaged that I was being held in your prayers.
Thank you.

To end this post, some pictures from yesterday, which was a very calm and healing day on the whole.

Have a happy Saturday everybody!

Oh summer.  I am so ready for you.  

I spend more time than usual going through my pictures these days.

I have soo many and now I get to post them here!

It's amazing how quickly the images take me back to that 

moment in time.  Or, I don't remember anything about the image I am looking at.

I suppose that means I don't have an emotion 

associated with the picture.

This picture means nothing to me.  It's a biscuit but why in the world did I care enough to take a picture of it?

This picture says so much to me.   I love my friend.

And this one?  Well.  It's complicated.

I actually want to delete all my church pictures but I think that is un-wise.  One day I will look at them with different eyes and they will mean different things to me.  Or not.  Currently, they elicit a complicated sorrow.

Some of my happiest pictures are when this dear lady comes to visit and what she doing with my sweetest daughter.

I take selfies.   

Usually it's so that I have a record that I existed in my own life.

And on that thought, I leave you all.

Happy Tuesday!

It's a strange thing going from SUPER BUSY and STRESSED to

having no plans and no crisis.

In some ways, I have had to fight for peace 

in the same way I had to fight for survival.

During the times of crisis in my life the most important things I had to do was keep my head above the water (don't drown in the sorrow of life), hang tight to Christ and try to be present enough to be aware of who I was in that moment and what was worth pouring my energy into.

Peace has been the same in some ways.

I have had to keep my head above the waters of busy when there are so many "sirens" calling out to me.  

Submitting my restless heart into the care of Christ who brings true peace has been hard!  Restlessness hides a multitude of insecurities and bad habits.

And sitting still has been SO DIFFICULT when I have, 

historically, made up groups and dinner parties and clubs when I have nothing to do.

I am SO GOOD at creating things to do out of 

stress, restlessness and boredom.

Anything to drive out the emotions swirling in my heart.

Sometimes, life really tears up your heart and it's a bleeding, pussy, infected mess.

And bed rest is the only thing that will facilitate healing.

The healing process is an interesting thing.  Sometimes it's like nothing ever happened, sometimes there is a scar and on occasion, something new emerges. 

I am starting to form some very definite ideas about friendship.

I am hesitant to start anything but I feel like, in my soul, 

there is a deep layer of baking soda ideas. (That's a for real thing.  I'm sure.) And a slow drip of vinegar is coming down.  

Groups gathering for fun make me nervous.  That's new.

I am a natural-bottled red head.   I don't really like being a natural hair coloured person.

Being kind, patient and merciful is important to me. 

This is also new.

I want to be with people that encourage me to Godliness.  

Not to busyness or scurry or hurry or worry.

I long for joy and laughter and depth and prayer.

I think I got this from Life (in) Grace once upon a time.

The End.

We had a our taxes done yesterday.

This is not a celebratory growler.

I love my country.  I am so thankful for free healthcare, EI, year long maternity leave, nice parks and paved roads.  I love that my garbage get's picked up once a week, I can go to my local library at no cost and that if my house were to ever catch on fire, the local fire department will come to the rescue.

All that so say, I get why taxes are good.

But frig!!!  The Canadian Government sucks!!

When you are on EI, you are taxed maybe 1% on what they pay you.  But! When you file your taxes at the end of the year, then they tax you for 15% of EI paid out.   Seriously.  Just take the money at the time your are paying us.

Same goes for the Universal Tax Credit.   They more than doubled what I get for my kids which is super!   

I love it.  Thank you Canada.  

But now, I have to pay 15% to the government for that money. 

Just take it in the first place!!

Bah.

Canada, you totally screwed up my budget and I am not impressed at this moment.   Maybe tomorrow I'll forgive you.

In other news, I am in a Franz Ferdinand mood these days.

For your listening pleasure, Take Me Out.

Last night I had my very own dance party while my family did....  I'm not sure what.   I was dancing.  

Beastie Boys and Fatboy Slim anyone?

Happy Saturday Dance Party All!

Here are a few of my favourite pictures from the last few days.

Chickpea curry with eggs

Nav and me made Jon a chocolate pavlova for his birthday.

I look so serious!   I'm still trying to figure out my camera.

Still trying to figure out settings....

Watch out chicken.   That duck is going to get you!

Loving my pants and socks combo

Last night Nav went through my Mennonite Treasuries Cook Book and found a recipe for fritters that she really wanted to make.  So we did after school today.   They were a big hit around here.

The last few days have been tough to start for the sole reason that the only coffee we have is Maxwells House blend.

I'm trying to save money folks.  Have you noticed how much food prices have gone up!?

Any way.  Maxwell's coffee is killing my morning start.

So I caved and went and bought the good stuff.

Kicking Horse, Grizzly Claw.

Now life can resume again.

Hello All!   

I hope this Saturday post finds you enjoying a nice cup of something hot whilst you peruse the internet. 

I tried to think of a less dorky way of saying the previous sentence but alas, I could not come up with a different way.

And I just like using 'alas'.   It's such a good word.

Anyway....

 These are some of my favourite pictures from the last few days.

I really like having a camera.  

It is an entirely different experience taking pictures with a point and shoot vs an iPhone.

Thank you to the Niverville lady for selling me this camera at the very reasonable price of $10.

This was an interesting week for me.  There were some heavy things going on while simultaneously some lovely and life giving things.

Things.   Sorry.   That is amazingly vague.

Heavy things included me making actual commitments to 

people outside of my family.

I have not made an actual commitment in nearly a year so this 

was a big deal.

It induced a mild panic.

However, sometimes I just need to push past my fear.  I have been sitting and licking my wounds for long enough.   It feels like the right time to make a few commitments.

Guess what they are?!

Counselling for 1 hour, 5 times, before the end of April, to help our a lovely lady getting her counselling degree (really though, I am thankful for the space to process my life) and once a week, meeting with a spiritual director for 30ish minutes (although we for sure went later yesterday) for the next few weeks.

Very minimal in terms of my time and very much self-help.

I left each session this week feeling lighter, full of hope and knowing that God is with me.

It was a good week.

See.   Heavy and lovely.

I am taking a break from Instagram and Facebook.

Not for lent, just to clarify.

I just need to clear room in my mind and day for other thoughts.

I figure if I let you all know, than you can't have an expectation that I will be there.

You can find me here though.

Now it is time to attend to my family.   Pancakes for lunch, a trip to the dollar store and Spirited Away for family movie night.

Hoping your weekend is everything you need it to be.

Bye.

Rohk wanted an orange but was having a difficult time opening it.  He asked me if he could get a knife to cut it and I said yes.   It did not occur to me what kind of a knife he was picking or what he would be cutting on.  Apparently he tried the scissors first?

This dear-heart has been practising head stands for weeks now.   

She uses a wall to practice and then tries without the wall.  

She is doing awesome!!

He just really really wants to be like his big sister!!

I do not love chickpeas.   Hummus I can live without.

That is until I tried this recipe!!  I may be a hummus convert.   

Go out and buy "Jerusalem: A Cook Book" for the hummus recipe alone.

So.  Good.

And this scene is my house tonight.  I think it looks so inviting.

I love my dining room and kitchen.  My favourite rooms in my home.

Lent begins on Wednesday.  I have never given up anything for lent.  I have understood why people do it but I have never felt the inclination to participate myself.  

I read a post from Grace Table about lent.  I liked her approach to reading scripture during the season of lent.  I might not give up anything but I may read through some Psalms in the way she describes.

She ends the post with this and it made me tear up.  And any time something makes me cry I MUST pass it along! True story.

"God stands at the door and knocks, but He won’t open the door for us. He won’t force His way in. He is patient and kind, abounding in steadfast love, and so He waits and knocks and waits some more. 

And while He waits, He whispers words of love over us. 

I have loved you with an everlasting love. I would take you in my arms and heal you. 

I would wrap you in kindness and clothe you in love. I would quiet you with My love."