Hi!  It's been a while.   

I sincerely hope you have been doing well and that you had 

a wonderful summer and Thanksgiving.

I am currently pondering and processing what it is to be a leader and what my philosophy of music and it's place in a church service is.

I think and pray about it most days.

Art is so important to church life and it's vitality.  It gives words when none can be found and brings to life deep longings that have been dormant.  Art is powerful and to often under-valued in the church context.  Music is the most readily accessible form of art that we have at our disposal but we leave out so many other forms that are just as valid and lovely. 

At the root of my desire as a church leader, I want our congregation to come to service and to be confronted, simultaneously, with how amazing our God is and the realization of hidden parts of their lives.  Good or bad.  I long for honest vulnerability before my God because it is in those moment's that healing and growth and vision and passion's are realized and fostered.  And I do believe that art plays a role in that process.  

In our service we follow a liturgy that is, weekly, crafted by our Liturgist's.  It is their art and it is a blesses and enriches my life and those in our service.   We have a wonderful artist who will be displaying her work and the works of others on our chapel wall and I look forward to what will be up there this year.   And we have some talented musicians that have a vision for where they would like to take us as a congregation with songs of praise, worship and adoration.

I pray we are all diligent with what we have been tasked to do this year, with a keen ear to hear where Christ is leading us and a gentle heart to sense quiet nudges.

As of late, I have been pondering my friends.

It seems to me that words so often fail me and I would like to be more extravagant in my praise of them.

But that is really hard to do without sounding like a total gush pot or a Hallmark card.

I have friends that I see every week.

Friends that I see once a month.

Friends that I see every few months.

And other's that I may not see for years and years and years at a time.

But the amount of time I spend with each person does not really matter to me.

What matters is that when I do see them, they instantly have my heart.

They know me and I know them.  Conversation is easy and enlightening.

Laughter or tears, stupid thoughts or interesting ones.  Matters of the heart or matters of the mind. 

Thoughts on God and books read.   Movies, music, motherhood, munching or moving. 

Together with them is the best.

We have journeyed through this life and we each have had to carry our own heavy burdens.

But when we come together, loads are lightened.

Conversely,  I have been apart from those that I love the most and storms have been weathered

without each other.  Not for any other reason than distance.  But that is ok.  Our friendship is based on deep love and respect and a hope that one day, we will be together again.

And, also, I really suck at long distance communications.  I am sporadic at best.  Sorry girls.

Rabbit trail.

Anyway.

Once upon a time, my dad and me used to pray, every night, that God would give me 

a good friend that loved Him.  

And in the Lord's great mercy and generosity, ever since, He has been faithful to give me 

many friends 

that are like iron sharpening iron,  pushing me to a greater love of God 

and making fun of  me so I don't get to uptight.

My dearest friends tease me. 

That's how I know they know me. 

I love it.

I love you  dear women.

May the Lord bless you and keep you

May  His face shine upon you

And be gracious to you

Amen

Once upon a time, I used to get a crazy amount of shit done.  

Like when I took my kids camping that time.

The picture above is from the time I took my 5-6month old son and 4 year old daughter camping for a night all by myself because I wanted to go camping and Jon was working.  Rohk was not sleeping at this point in time and I was a total nutter to have gone camping alone.  (He was up at least 5-6 times a night)   However.  It gave me a great sense of empowerment that I could do what I put my mind to do.  

So maybe I was NOT that crazy in the end...

Now I feel like I am lucky to get the dishes from yesterday washed before noon of today.

These day's I need to get a lot done and I want to be overwhelmed and go into hiding mode.

But I don't need to.  I can do what I need to and do it well.

Like before, when I used to get a crazy amount of shit done in a day.

So.  Today I will pack a picnic lunch for me and the kids, take our bikes, go to the city court office and pay a little bit towards 2 ticket's from last summer (thank you very much ex-employees of Jon's for the $600 worth of tickets), find a park for play time and lunch, have Naveed do some reading at the park (maybe??  I will see how that idea goes over in reality), get home take pictures of stuff and start selling it on VarageSale (The start of this month is amazingly tight financially so that means it's time to sell stuff!) and get some supper started. (Pasta and sauce from a jar, thank you very much.)

And.  Rohk is on day number 2 of potty training.  Fun pee times.

Well.  That is my planned day.  I will see how it actually goes.

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!

 (Memories from my first campfire with Naveed)

This morning...

I have dreams of one day having a room dedicated to dishes.  And a LARGE portion of that room will be for mixing bowls.  If there was room in my house, I would collect mixing bowls.  Practical and lovely to look at.  Mixing bowls can be used for, obviously, mixing things, but they are also good for serving large salads or soups, displaying fruits and veggies or I use one as my odds and ends "drawer".

Here are some lovely pottery mixing bowls from Etsy 

Here are the links to the bowls above.  Sorry, they are all out of order.  My coffee is getting cold and I need to finish this up!

mixing bowl  another mixing bowl  this one  hippy bowl  what!? another bowl?  bowls bowls bowls  more bowl links  pottery is expensive  everyone needs a white mixing bowl  i heart bowls

For those of you who faithfully read these entries, I will probably take a break from blogging this summer...  not like I am a regular blogger by any stretch of the imagination!  However, I would feel badly to just disappear without letting you all know.  There have been blogs I have followed and all of a sudden, the writer disappears without explanation and the blog is over.

I just want to hang out with my kids outside more.

Ok.

The End  

This weekend I threw a very last minute surprise party for a dear friend of mine.

And it struck me, after everyone had gone home, that I am out of practice hosting large groups of people.

I don't move with ease in a crowd, in my home, like I used to.  So much of these days involve me re-defining myself and I am not who I was and maybe this new me is not as good at hosting?

In the olden days, getting ready for a large group of people involved barking orders at my family for the entire time before guests arrived and running around like a mad woman trying to make all my ideas a reality.  And oh did I have ideas for my parties! They were almost always elaborate and theme based.  By the time everyone arrived I would be kind of hyper and amped up.  What I had envisioned would be real and it was time to have fun!

These days, I don't really have big party plans when I host an event.  That just stresses me out.  Most parties are now very last minute and un-planned.  Prior to guests arriving I am more likely to be watching a show with my kids or checking my emails.  I feel very calm by the time friends arrive but that is not always what is needed for a fun host!

I am not making apologies and I don't feel the need for assurances.

This just seems to be my current state of mind.

This morning I looked at some lovely dinner party tables that I would love to sit at.

And, maybe one day, I will create a beautiful table display that took me weeks to prepare for.  Friends will be invited and fun will be had.  And I will be the consummate host.

Or not.

image one  image two  image three  image four  image five  image six

Last Friday, we went to a farm just outside of Winnipeg. 

We all had a great time.

Here are some pictures from our day

Have you read Drops Like Stars?

If you think abstract thoughts can be beautiful and that pictures can speak as loudly as words, 

read this book.

I found my (signed copy!) at MCC for $2.  Worth every cent.

It is about suffering and creativity and Christ.  I found it to be simplistically profound.

 Ha! Hows that for a book review?  

Well.  Now I will end that commercial.

I find that I lean towards unit studies more and more these days at school with Naveed.  

Currently we learning all things butterflies.  This one is my favourite.  It's Euphaedra eleus from Africa.

Here is our art project from yesterday.  A field of flowers with some butterflies.

 Rohk was very interested in the art project...