In his defence, it might have been my fault as I got him talking about his passion for a role playing game and asked about his comic-con opinions. Sometimes I think it's my fault when I don't get what I ask for at the salon because I get so interested in my hair stylist that maybe they forget what I asked for??
Before I go to get my hair cut I tell myself
"Don't talk to much."
"Remember to be quiet."
Every time.
I seriously do this.
And I never listen to myself.
Ah well.
It's only hair.
Jon has been out of town for work a lot this month so that has meant I have the car during the week.
Something that has been very appreciated by me and my kids during this cold snap. Walking to school in -37 sounds horrible.
Next week we are back to walking so I'm hoping this cold snap turns into a warm bend?? That's a thing, right?
We have been a one vehicle family for a little over a year now and I love how it has forced me to change the pace of my life. Walking and biking everywhere changes how I make plans and what I do. Everything about my life is more calm, prayerful & peaceful when I don't have the car. The INSTANT I have the car during the day I am BUSY! It's amazing all the stuff I squeeze into one day with 4 wheels at my disposal.
So as much as walking to school in -37 will suck,
I am glad to not have the car this week.
Do you ever look at where your produce comes from?
I do.
All the time.
What strikes me the most is that I live in a part of Canada covered in snow & ice, and sitting on my counter are kiwis, bananas,oranges and apples. The only reason I have all this fresh produce is because of airplanes, boats, trains and trucks.
Some farmer in Morocco packaged up some pretty little oranges in a wooden crate and shipped them across an ocean.
I have kiwis from Italy! Did you even know kiwis grow in Italy?
I think this is amazing.
Followed closely behind this thinking are thoughts of global warming and what impact transporting Kiwi's from Italy takes.
Do I really need kiwis from Italy?
Oranges from Morocco?
No, but it sure is nice.
Now, if I was TRULY committed to saving the earth what I would need to do is plant an orchard, do a lot of canning and live like Canadian's a hundred years ago. Canned cherries, deteriorating apples from the cellar and applesauce. Or! I need an earth ship and just grown everything I'm eating on a wall. No joke. Earth ships seem awesome and if Jon and me had a bazillion dollars we would totally be moving south and build one. Google earth ships and be amazed.
Another tid-bit, Jon and me would be preppers, again, if we had a bazillion dollars. But not crazy preppers. More like sane people with a bunker and an underground hydroponic garden running on a generator in case of an electro magnic pulse and all the electricity goes out. That sounds sane right????
At least 2 times a year I find OLD cookbooks at our local thrift store and I buy them. Because they are FASCINATING!!
What usually happens is I buy the book, look at all the recipes and then google the author of the book to learn the history of the cookbook. Most of the old cookbooks have a great history behind them and it's so fun to learn about how a book came to be. But because I live in 800 square feet, keeping all the books I thrift is not an option, so I give them back to our MCC thrift store. And because I have a sieve for a memory and the information is pretty much useless, I forget most of it.
That was a good story.
I think I will sign of now.
Happy Saturday everyone!
Rachelle
Saturday 19 January 2019
This will be a post full of links to things that have interested me so far this January.
A friend of mine said it would be nice to have links to all the blogs I read but I don't follow many blogs these days. I find that I get something in my mind and then I exhaust the internet finding information on whatever "thing" I have in my mind, and in special cases, our local library, and once my curiosity is satisfied I move on to the next thing!
Or I read very silly books, very serious Christian books, watch very silly shows or very serious documentaries.
This is my life.
Starting with the silly things that interest me these days,
Meghan Markle!
I Google that woman WAY MORE than is probably normal.
Please send me a commemorative plate of Harry & Meghan's wedding if you have one. A t-shirt would be better though!
Oh my goodness.
I need a commemorative wedding t-shirt.
Is that even a thing?
Now I have more things to Google once I am done this post!
I like Town & Country for my royalty news, thank you very much.
Other silliness, my love for Doctor Who will never waver. Over Christmas I read "Touched By An Angel" (NOTHING like the tv-show. There was an oversight when they titled this book...) It was SO GOOD!! And since new episodes of the tv show won't be coming out until 2020, the next best thing will be reading
ALL THE NOVELS!! My copy of "I Am a Dalek" arrived this week and it will be fun, easy read.
My friend Leanne knows how to pick books for me. I have never been lent a book from her that I have not loved. One day before Christmas I heard a knock on my door and there she was! Holding a book she thought I would like to borrow, a quick hug, a Merry Christmas, and she was off. The book was "At Home" by Bill Bryson and I have slowly been making my way through it's pages ever since. It's such an interesting and intriguing book that I highly recommend if you love history. (You seriously need to read Stir. Another fantastic loaner from Leanne that showed up on my doorstep one day.)
Erin designated "Jerusalem" cookbook as the theme and
I have ever since been in love with making all food of middle eastern decent at home.
(I'm pretty sure Israel and Palestine are middle eastern? This totally shows my total ignorance of all things geography but I don't feel like going to Google and correcting myself.
That would take time and I get lost on rabbit trails and then this post will never be done!)
Tracy gifted me "Jerusalem" years ago and this year
Please note that these cookbooks were given to me in October and I have only just gotten around to using them.
Also, Jon's digestive track does not respond well to these meals.
I made no less then 4 meals from these cook books in one week.
He has requested I try a different type of cuisine.
Being home alone, getting to my house work and listening to podcasts is a happy place for my heart, spirit and mind.
But finding good podcasts can be tricky!
Elena & Patrick put me onto OnScript and I LOVE IT!!
I am not a scholar or an academic.
Maybe one day?! The Lord only knows.
For sure I am not right now.
What I love about this podcast is listening to professors
(all the ones I've listened to anyway)
talk about the bible in ways that I have not heard since I was in bible college. There is something so refreshing about being taught the bible by someone that is not a pastor.
Please don't read into that statement either.
What is required of pastor's in our church's is a huge ask and they have all my respect.
Sometimes though,
I'd like to go a little deeper than say...
"Have Patience" or "Mission Sunday".
Both good things and I'm totally on board!
Please don't mis-read this as angsty or bitter.
I just finished listening to the interview with Natalie Carnes about her book "Image and Presence" and now I have ANOTHER book added to my list of "Books I Want To Read". Later this week I will listen to the podcast again because she uses very intersting words that I don't know and I'm pretty sure a lot of what she said went completely over my head.
Palms down. Palms up.
Watch this and then carry on reading.
You won't be sorry, I promise.
At about the 2 minute point on the video, Richard Foster leads the group in a prayer. And he explains praying with "Palms Down" and praying with "Palms Up". This way of praying has stuck with me for nearly two weeks solid now.
If you didnt watch the video, here is an explanation of the prayer taken from here.
“Begin by placing your palms down as a symbolic indication of your desire to turn over any concerns you may have to God. Inwardly you may pray, ‘Lord, I give to you my anger toward John. I release my fear of my dentist appointment this morning. I surrender my anxiety over not having enough money to pay the bills this month. I release my frustration over trying to find a baby-sitter for tonight.’ Whatever it is that weighs on your mind or is a concern to you… release it. You may even feel a certain sense of release in your hands.”
“After several moments of surrender, turn you palms up as a symbol of your desire to receive from the Lord. Perhaps you will pray silently, ‘Lord, I would like to receive your divine love for John, your peace about my dentist appointment, your patience, your joy’.”
“Having centered down, spend the remaining moments in complete silence. Do not ask for anything. Allow the Lord to commune with you, to love you.”
Don't you just love that?!
I find the 3rd part the most difficult.
Being quiet and sitting in the loving presence of
my Jesus is hard. You should hear the never ending stream of thoughts I have about pretty much everything all the time.
But I know it is good and right
to be still,
to listen,
to commune.
I sent the "Palms down. Palms up." prayer posture to a group that prays on Thursdays and I was sent the most precious and heart touching email from one of our prayers. It was so touching. Like a hug for my heart & spirit.
In the email she sent a prayer that she pray's often,
(Side note - The people from OnScript often mention
Saint Augustine. I think I need to find out more about him.)
Here is the prayer my praying friend sent me.
My dear friend Sue.
She get's me to do and read the best things.
For years now we attempt to do something
holy...
spiritual...
Christian...
life transformative...
every January.
Sometimes the things we attempt stick,
other years, not so much.
But we are very well intentioned!!
Thursday morning I get a text message from Sue saying I should check out IF: Gathering for the online pass to a conference they were putting on in February. Sue told me I should check out the speakers to see if it would be good.
Her actual words were "Check out IFGathering. We can buy a digital pass and watch from the comfort of our living room.
You know so many speakers/leaders. Do you think it would be worth watching?"
So what did I do?
I just up and bought it without actually checking it out.
Because basically I just want to do all the Christian ladies conferences with Sue ALL THE TIME.
Her response
"If it's crappy that's on you!!!!!!"
At this point I am killing myself laughing.
She's totally right.
What did I sign up for??!!
Good thing that after the fact, IF:Gathering seems pretty solid.
I was at peace when listed as "Our Beliefs" was the Nicene Creed and one of their previous speakers was Jo Saxton. I was given Jo Saxton's book "More Than Enchanting" and I liked it.
Phew!
Crisis averted.
Lastly!!
Fundraising concerts are an entire level of fun and organizing that I have not ever been a part of.
UNTIL NOW!!
Working with friend's towards a common goal is so very very rewarding in ways I had not anticipated. My friends are amazing and I am honored to sit at the planning table with them.
ALSO!! Knowing everyone's enneagram number has been so helpful!
Have you ever been to an event at Neufeld Garage??
This place is super cool and the owners have been amazing to work with!!
for whatever we are asked to pray for and lead to pray for.
I have been struck on a few occasions with how the Holy Spirit has lead so many in similar prayers, though we never meet in person, on specific days for these precious friends.
Prayer.
I wonder how many books have been written on prayer?
There are a few sitting on my book shelves.
Sometimes I question the need for prayer.
What good is it?
Won't God just do what He will do?
Why pray for anything?
Can I change God's mind with my prayers?
Is God listening?
My problems are so small, why would God care?
You know the bible story where Jesus talks about the annoying neighbor asking for bread at midnight?
(I'm great at paraphrasing. You're welcome.)
And then Jesus talks about earthly fathers and God the father giving good gifts?
(It's in Luke 11 if you want to check it out.)
Probably more than any other parables of Jesus,
I have taken those two stories about prayer to heart.
When I was younger, I had no Christian friends and I was lonely.
My dad suggested we pray about this, so we did.
My memory is that we prayed for over a year,
that God would give me a good friend that loved Jesus.
So many nights in grades 5 & 6, praying for a friend.
And then one day,
out of the blue,
Juanita arrived in Thunder Bay for exactly one year.
A Jesus loving, fun friend.
And ever since I have never been for want of a friend
that is like iron-sharpening-iron.
On my better days,
I remember to pray faithfully and with faith.
On my mediocre days, I just complain a lot to God.
On days when my faith feels so small,
I ask for reminders of God's faithfulness and love.
When my heart is hard and full of bitterness and anger, I hide.
I know that Jesus is patiently waiting for me to give him my hurts and ask for forgiveness.
Yesterday was one of those days.
These are my thoughts today.
Much love to you all.
Rachelle
Saturday 5 January 2019
Jon has noticed that I find ANY joke about periods HILARIOUS!
And he is 100% right.
Did you see this one??
SO FUNNY!!!
I'm dying.
Almost 3 years ago I had an endometrial ablation.
The best thing that has ever happened to my uterus.
For a year and half I had no PMS, no bleeding, nothing.
It was awesome.
And then I started getting pms symptoms that I did not enjoy. They came on slowly but they were increasing. Early in 2018 I did some research and decided that taking a daily dose of evening primrose was the way to go.
Evening primrose is a wonderful thing!
So WHY I stopped taking it in December is confusing to myself.
Yeah.
This week, I just could not get a handle on my emotions.
Every emotion I felt was magnified by 100 and
they refused to be managed.
No matter what was going on, it felt like a huge deal.
I was not the best version of myself this week.
Then Aunt Flow appeared and EVERYTHING MADE SENSE!!
It has been a very very long time since I was un-hinged by PMS.
Two pills of evening primrose were swallowed this morning,
apologies were made to my husband
and if this week I seemed unreasonable to you,
I am very sorry.
From the bottom of my uterus, so sorry.
Tuesday 1 January 2019
I was in our local election this year, running for school board trustee. I shut down my blog during that time because I didn't want there to be access to some of the words I have typed here because this space is, for the most part, very unfiltered. I did not want my name to be Googled, this blog pop up, and the time I dropped of TONNE of F-bombs during our bankruptcy to be quoted and printed in The Carillon. (Our local newspaper)
I know there are a faithful few that keep checking back here to see if I have posted anything and were all of a sudden greeted with message essentially saying "Go away"
Going into 2019 maybe I feel like blogging again.
I think I do??
There are thoughts swirling in my head and the best way I know to process them is to type them out in a way that makes sense if someone else might read them. It's a different way of processing than journaling. With journaling it's basically my thoughts barfed on paper, they don't need to make sense, they just need to get out of my head and heart. With blogging, my thoughts and emotions need to make sense typed out. That's why blogging during our bankruptcy was so helpful to me. This space helped me make sense of my life.
This sounds ridiculous to myself, but I'm not used to loosing. Typically when I set out to do something I get it done and life carries on with my plan put into place. I choose to do things I believe I can accomplish and succeed at and thus, I don't loose.
That sounds so dumb typed out... it is what it is.
When I set out to be elected as a school board trustee I knew there was not a guarantee of success. My future was in the hands of voters and there is never any feed back. But I believed in the reason I was running for and I had peace about it being the right thing to do.
So when I lost, last place thank you very much!, I had no way of processing the loss. And it wasn't like loosing at a game of basketball or Dutch Blitz.
The City of Steinbach rejected me.
They rejected my idea's for helping immigrants.
I wasn't good enough.
Just me.
Rejected.
This was an amazing dish that I made for my Foodie Club.
IT WAS SO BAD!!!
It's a jellied gazpacho and it was horrible.
So wrong on so many levels.
Everyone has made fun of me ever since about this placenta on a plate and I laugh because it was so gross and so funny!!
In a way, what I made was rejected and I have been ridiculed, and rightfully so! But this was for a fun event with some of my very best friends, not my heart for immigrants put before a city for approval. Just a surprising choice of homemade tomato jello.
I put this picture on the cards I handed out during the election. My friend Anna was kind and generous and took it for me. My friend Tracy helped me tweak my final card and went door to door with me for HOURS handing them out. My friend Shannon did my radio interview and wrote my SteinbachOnline article and made that process painless and fun. After my radio interview and article were published there were some angry and confused people. My friends Ashleigh, Jordan and Andrew stepped up online and shut things down on my behalf when people were being idiotic and cruel online. My friend Erin was so faithful in sending me text messages and emails when my grammar needed correcting in my posts - something that I asked her to do and needed desperately. I can't even list all the names of friends and family that supported and promoted me online and asked to hand out my cards.
Sue got into verbal sparring matches with family on my behalf.
Chris & Leah handed out cards and were key people in supporting me while processing if I was going to run or not.
I'm sure I am missing so so many people that need a shout out.
I love all of you.
Approximately 700 of my cards were handed out.
I got 669 votes.
That's not to shabby!
Google tells me that this is the definition of rejection.
the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea, etc.
the spurning of a person's affections.
Rejections sucks.
Rejection has birthed a strange type of insecurity in me these last few months.
It is so easy for me to fixate on all the big and small ways I get rejected all the time. Ways that 3 months ago I would have brushed off without much processing needed at all.
A coffee date cancelled.
A meal not praised.
A text message not responded to.
An I love you not returned.
A hug not offered.
A thank you not extended
Good gravy.
Can we all say very loudly
"WHY ARE YOU BEING SO NEEDY??!!"
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
And I really don't know.
Cause I don't like these responses I am having.
They are unfamiliar to me.
I am more independent than this.
2018.
My church was shut down. I loved my church family. I still do. My heart aches for what I have lost.
My cherished friends moved away. I loved them. I still do.
My heart aches for what I have lost.
My plan to help immigrants integrate into our public schools was rejected. I love my ideas. I still do.
My heart aches from the personal rejection and what that vote told our immigrant population that were cheering me on.
My precious friend was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I love her. My heart aches for what she must endure.
2018.
My husband has a desk job, his vertigo is WAY better and his back is significantly improved.
Naveed is having the best year ever in school and loves middle school.
We were able to go on a mini summer vacation with my parents and go to Meadow Lake for Christmas. Two holidays in one year. A first EVER for our family.
I was able to get my A1C back down again and figured out a new strategy for managing my diabetes without medication.
Riding my bike everywhere is my happy place and I love my new mode of daily transportation. Going down to one vehicle has been the best thing for me and my kids. Walking to school everyday is my favourite.
I have never in all my life drunk so much red wine or eaten more sourdough bread.
I decided to stop dying my hair.
My family has started playing games for frequently and we have never laughed so much together.
2019.
From Valley of Vision
O Love beyond Compare,
Thou art good when thou givest,when thou takest away,when the sun shines upon me,when night gathers over me.Thou hast loved me before the foundation of the world,and in love didst redeem my soul;Thou dost love me still,in spite of my hard heart, ingratitude, distrust.Thy goodness has been with me another year,leading me through a twisting wilderness,in retreat helping me to advance,when beaten back making sure headway.Thy goodness will be with me in the year ahead;I hoist sail and draw up anchor,With thee as the blessed pilot of my future as of my past.I bless thee that thou hast veiled my eyes to the waters ahead.If thou hast appointed storms of tribulation,thou wilt be with me in them;If I have to pass through tempests of persecution and temptation,I shall not drown;If I am to die,I shall see thy face the sooner;If a painful end is to be my lot,grant me grace that my faith fail not;If I am to be cast aside from the service I love,I can make no stipulation;Only glorify thyself in me whether in comfort or trial,as a chosen vessel meet always for thy use.
