Are you observing lent this year?

I have never felt the desire or conviction to participate.

Frankly, most years my entire life feels like lent.

This year is different.

This year I am without a home church and I am longing for a weekly call to worship with people I know and am known by and the ease of following where my trusted leaders are taking me Sunday morning.

I don't have that right now.

All the churches we have attended over the last 9 months have left me missing what I used to have.  I forgot what normal churches are like and why we have attended 2 church plants over the past 7 years.

To be clear, 

there is nothing wrong with normal churches and I will not disparage them.

If you have ever met me, 

my husband, 

my kiddos...  

we don't really fit into normal.  

We are un-apologetically a little out there.

I know, blah blah blah blah, 

"What is normal?" 

"Is'nt everyone a little weird?"

Listen, 

I say this with utmost respect, 

if your mind goes to those questions than 

a) I think you are a 2 on the Enneagram and you are trying to help me

or

b) you are very normal and often find this blog confusing 

or

c) you are a weekend philosopher and possibly an Enneagram 5

I suppose I could put some parameters on what I mean by "normal church" but it's easier for me to describe what my "not normal church" looked like and what I loved about it.  

Because, 

like I said earlier, 

I do not want to disparage the church.

She is precious and holy and I love her.

My last church was small, often liturgical, artsy, vulnerable, intimate, coffee & conversation in the kitchen, I belonged instantly, my family belonged instantly, there was excitement in the air for what God was doing, there was an expectancy that God would meet us, sermons didn't really exist - rather is was teaching followed by discussion which invited deeper relationship with Christ and each other, an understanding that each of us being made in the image of God did not mean that were all the same - differences were celebrated and honored, I could hear everyone sing ...  and of all this list "I could hear everyone sing" is what brings me to tears.  

I can't hear people sing at the church's we have attended.

I love hearing corporate worship in song.

There is nothing so beautiful 

as hearing the church sing in unison.

My friend, Elena, sent me a link to a song called "West of Nod".

This line has stuck with me

"Remember when we had it good

Walking where the angels trod

Now all we talk about’s moving on

East of Eden and west of Nod"

If you have a few minutes, take a few minutes and listen to the song. It's lovely.

Back to lent.

Falsely, in recent months, I have believed the lie that 

church is going to save me.  If I just go to church, 

if my family goes to church, God won't let us go.

Huh.

That's interesting to myself.

Lent.

Remembering God incarnate, 

sacrificing himself for my life.

Lent.

It seems like I need it as a tuning fork, 

to remember my need for Christ.  

Not my need for the church. 

(Don't panic, I still love the body of Christ and will go to church.  Quitting church is never an option for me.)

I've been planning and researching options available to guide me through lent and I have landed on a few different ones. Here is a little list of what I will be reading or watching.

Shelly Miller from Sabbath Society has an ebook called "A Sabbath Journey for Lent".  It's free if you subscribe to her blog.  I have been receiving her posts in my inbox for years and I love nearly everything she writes.  

Edie Wadsworth had a daily lent reflection that I subscribed to last year.  I saved every email faithfully in my "Lent" folder and then never read any of them.  This year I will read most of them.  I'm not sure if she will be offering this again but check out her writings on lent, her perspective is always beautiful and profound to me.  

  Lastly, I have signed up for The Lent Project done by Biola University Center for Christianity Culture and the Arts.  Click on March 5, watch the video and I'm certain you will want to sign up for the Lent Project.  (Thanks Elena for this suggestion!)

I know fasting from a specific food is super common but I do that everyday of my life.

My fast will be more in keeping with who I am and won't be food related.

Lastly, my aim is to post 40 songs for lent on this blog.

One song for every day of lent.

This may or may not happen but I'm going to try!

Much love to you all,

Rachelle