Some days, homeschooling is the best.

Things are taught, my child picks up what she needs to know and life is good.

Other days, it's horrible.   I am impatient, she refuses to even consider what 13-1 is and it all sucks.

On the good days I LOVE homeschooling.

On the bad days I HATE every thing about it.

On the bad days I consider what it would be like to send her to public school.  It sounds soo much easier than I have to do.

But it's all a lie, both are hard and both are good.

Just on different levels.

Public school, I would not have to think about what we were going to learn for the day.  It would be taken care of and it would be someone else's problem.  Until she got home with homework....

Homeschool, I get to customize my curriculum to my child's individual needs.

Public school, she would be in an environment where adult input is minimal and I don't feel that it is age appropriate.

Homeschool, I risk our relationship at the cost of her education.  To much adult time.

And I go back and forth in my mind.  Over and over again.

Surrender seems to be coming up a lot for me these days.

And so, in this quiet blog space, once again, I surrender our days into the care of Jesus.  Asking that he lead and guide me as a mother, to do his will in the lives of my children.  All the while, trying to remember that they are not mine.  They are His and he has wonderful plans in store for them.

That I would be a help, not a hinder to them.

Lord have mercy on this conflicted mother's heart.