I have been attempting to organize the thousands of pictures I have on my computer.

How many doubles and triplets of pictures does a person need?  How did I get so many multiples of the same pictures??

I have been on a mad hunt to find pictures from 2010 and sadly, I think they are all lost.  I am very thankful for Facebook because at least there are pictures posted of me being pregnant with Rohk and the first days of him with us.

The mad search for 2010 pictures has let me view so many pictures that I had forgotten about!  And many of them are from when Jon's business was up and running.

In this process of me saying goodbye to the life I had when Jon owned his own business, looking at pictures has been helpful.  They remind me of the good times, in a tangible way, and that is so precious to me in this process of farewell.  They have shown the hardships as well.  Things that are easy for me to forget but should not be forever forgotten.

Spring time was my favourite time of year for the business.  It would be in the spring that Jon and me would put up advertisements in out of the way gas stations or he would bring me and the kids along for estimates. 

Spring would bring hope for a good year of business.  We would pay all the bills that had piled up all winter, get new shoes or treat ourselves out for dinner from the first deposit.

Spring is different this year.  There is a part of me that misses the life we once had in this season.  It was more than the promise of summer.  It was the hope of a better life because there would be more money, more contracts, more visits to Jon at work because the kids were older.  Everything would be better in the spring.

Obviously hope does not equal reality, but I can miss that hope.

Here are some pictures I have from over the years of us (me and the kids) visiting Jon at work.