I have nothing.

I have tried writing this post for over an hour and keep deleting what I write.

So far I have deleted an entire venting session, 3 times.

A post on grace, written and deleted twice.

Usually I just write about what is in my head but today that is not a good idea because it is annoyance and anger.

I get feisty and very combative.  And I will fight you to the death for the win.

But only if I am not invested in an actual relationship with you.  

If you are someone that is a part of my life, big or small, I will do whatever is possible to avoid any sort of real confrontation you. I have to much history of hurting people I love with my words.  Because I care about the relationship and keeping it intact, I will rarely speak up in anger.  

I occasionally argue with my husband, sister and mom, but who doesn't argue with family?  Everyone else is exempt, for the most part, from my combativeness.

That does not hold true for those on the peripheral of my life.  This can be a strength and a weakness depending on the circumstance.

I think what I have found the most difficult today was keeping my mouth shut when accusations founded on lies were thrown at me by a person on the peripheral.  Everything in me wanted to retaliate but there was a bigger picture I needed to keep in mind.

Bah.

Don't indulge my pity party either.

I will be fine.